The Exit of a Very Long Season Part 1

Twenty-three years is a long time. It’s been half of my lifetime.

It’s been a long season, but it’s been a great season.

What season is that? PARENTING. Or parenting as I’ve always known it.

My oldest daughter is about to turn 23, my middle daughter is almost 21 and my youngest son just entered his senior year of high school. For some odd reason, this all hit me this summer. I’ve never been the mother whose life has solely revolved around her kids or one whose identity and self-worth were incumbent upon whether my kids decided to loose their minds or not!

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my kids and I LOVE being their mother. That won’t ever, ever change! But what is changing is a season of my life. The only season I’ve really ever known since getting married. A season of parenting babies and toddlers, school-aged and teenagers, then seeing those children grow into young adults with lives of their own.

It’s a season my husband and I have talked about with excitement for years. To see it come upon us has been quite sobering, and I’ve been surprised at myself by how unprepared I’ve seemed to be for this change of season. Over the past five years, both of my daughters have left home, gone to college or the mission field, now both have returned, only to live in their own house and making it a home of their own. I think the reality hit me when I realized that our last child is finishing out his time with us at home.

Twenty-three years is a long time.

Twenty-three years of my life being scheduled around babies and feedings, the start and end of the school day, school vacations, projects, field trips, dances and proms.  Managing days of good hormones and bad hormones with two girls very close in age, praying and believing God for direction and wisdom as both girls sought answers for their future plans. And still praying and believing for that same God-wisdom as we make future plans for our last child as he graduates in the upcoming months.

VERY SOBERING.

All of a sudden, I have a new kind of life to live.  A life that doesn’t revolve around the school calendar of kid’s activities or high school dances and graduations. 

I’m almost done. Done with a season that has defined half of my life.

I’ll always be a mother and I’ll always be a parent, but now it will just look different. I’ve had a hard time adjusting to that “different”. In fact, I’ve been full on SCATTER-BRAINED. I’ve found myself not knowing up from down. Not knowing how to write a new life schedule or new life goals and dreams. Not really knowing what in the world to do with myself.

Now for those of you who know me, that above paragraph is probably very hard to believe! I’ve always been one to be very disciplined, lived by my default schedule, know what I’m doing and when, even knowing what everyone else is doing and when they’re supposed to do it...until now. Until a major, life season change. This has shaken me up a bit. Well, a lot if I’m being completely honest!

The past 25 years, I’ve spent married to the most wonderful husband; I’ve worked in every capacity possible in building God’s kingdom and His church, alongside my husband. I’ve walked through great heartache and through great victories. I’ve been very committed and diligent in learning the balance of family and ministry, and by the grace of God, most days walked in that healthy balance. And it’s been an awesome ride!

Now, it feels like I’m getting on a new ride. A great ride, in fact.  Same amusement park. Even with the same people, same purpose, and same God. Just a different ride.

So please bear with me as I navigate this new ride, for this new season. 

Thankfully, I got my scatter-brained head screwed on a couple of weeks ago.  My husband and I were able to get away for a few days. (What really happened? Our staff said, ‘Y’all get out of here and don’t come back until you get your heads screwed on straight!”  Actually, they were much more gracious, but that’s really what they meant!) So Eugene and I took a few days away to just figure some things out: What this new season needed to look like, both personally and professionally. We talked. And walked. And thought. And reminisced. And ate.  And talked some more. And dreamed. And prayed. And then got our heads on straight and wrote out some plans, goals, schedules and dreams for our new season. 

And it felt really great!

But something else also felt great. The presence and the hand of God on my life. As I look back over this season of parenting, GOD HAS BEEN WITH US! Through ups and downs, through joy and pain, through uncertainty and great unknowns...God’s hand has led us and guided us, and we’ve seen His faithfulness over and over again. During our time away, I sensed that same Presence, and that same Guidance. That same Shepherd, leading and guiding me into this new season. I felt comforted and encouraged that the same faithfulness that led me through the past twenty-three years, will be the same faithful God that will lead me into this next season of my life.

And guess what?

I think I’m going to LOVE this new ride!