Even There
Have you ever experienced a time in your life when all is going well and you wake up one day and life just isn’t good anymore? Maybe it was a traumatic event like a divorce, job loss, or death of a family member or the end of a treasured friendship. Or maybe it gradually snuck up on you, and you suddenly realized all is not well, especially with your soul.So you start questioning yourself, God and others. Why do I feel so empty, unfulfilled, like a failure? Why all the regrets? You start second guessing all your current moves along with playing the “if I would’ve, could’ve, should’ve, game” about everything you’ve ever done or never managed to get around to. Why can’t I smile, feel joy, have that peace that surpasses all understanding I see in others, that I once had? What do you do when life was great and then it isn’t?Several years ago, this happened to me. My soul ached. I was distraught. I felt like my life was unraveling like your favorite knit sweater does when you snag it on something in the most obvious place. You cry out “Noooooo!” as the threads start pulling apart slowly. Then there’s this ripple effect that begins to happen with each move, even though each move is an attempt to salvage your prized possession. I cried out to God as the psalmist did in Psalms 77 for His help. I asked God how He could hear what I was saying and not respond to my distress. I implored as to why He didn’t reach down towards my outstretched hands from the pit I was in and grab a hold of me and pull me up. I cried, prayed, read my bible, devoured self-help books, fasted, journaled, talked to a trusted friend, sought professional help, took medicine, and groaned. And then, I would start the process all over again, yet I felt no relief.It was during one particular counseling session, as we reviewed my homework assignment which included sharing some of my journal notes, when the light bulb dimly came on. My wise Christian counselor helped me to see the hope in my situation because of my continued plea. Even though I sought help through secular measures, which is often times necessary to get your footing, I continued to go to God even though it seemed He wasn’t listening. “Why do you suppose you keep seeking God,” she asked. “Because He’s God,” I responded.After speaking those three words, “because He is God,” my mind began to reflect on who God is. God is: good, almighty, caretaker of the afflicted, our healer, our deliverer, equipping us, leading us in the way we should go, almighty, everlasting and ever present, ever present… ever present. I wanted to shout for joy! That’s it. God is omnipresent. Even during our distress, He holds our hands ushering us through those dark times to help us.
King David reminds us in Psalms 139:10, “Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me.”
Sometimes life is hard, dark, uncertain with devastating circumstances that seem too overwhelming to endure. We doubt our faith and everything about our life. However, if we continue holding on to God’s unchanging hand in the midst of our struggle, even there He will be. As we hold on, God assists us to build our strength, our character, our ability to trust, and our perseverance in order to reach the deepest part of our souls.God’s desire for us is to ultimately make us more like Him. He wants a relationship with us. We can trust He will never leave us during our dark seasons, and He will walk with us until we come out on the other side changed, stronger, renewed, refreshed and with greater purpose. If you’re walking through a season of your life like I did, let’s pray this prayer together:
“Father God, no matter where I go or what I do, Your love surrounds me as I place my hand into your hands. I praise You for Your love and your faithful presence in my life. I trust You Lord to keep a tight grip during my trials and my struggles, because even then, Your hand will guide me and Your strength will support me. I press in close to Your Presence today, trusting that You are producing great endurance through these hard places. A big thank you, Father God. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.”
Dr. Pamela Jackson, DNP